Round the world in 9 days

Today is going to be a long ol’ day.

So I set my phone to wake me at 0500 and 0530, each labelled GET THE FUCK UP, and dozed off just after midnight.

God, I’m so predictable.

I am currently midway through the largest glass of champagne I've ever seen.

I just woke up in the city that never sleeps.

I wasn't just at the gate in 9 minutes, I was on the fucking plane!

God fucking damn it, I’m meant to hate New York!

Got actual goosebumps thinking about the incredible feats of engineering that meant we had, for 30 years, essentially planes which go into space.

F is for First.

That's not an aeroplane seat, that's a fucking sofa.

The island skyline is beautiful.

Hong Kong is dense and loud and bustle like nowhere else I've been.

Guess I must finally be on holiday.

There is no man with my name on a sign.

I’ll just describe.

So I'm in country number 48 and it happens: I get scammed.

8 days of madness.

I'm on my sofa only 80 minutes after the wheels hit the tarmac, using public transport.